Archive for love

When Being a Bitch Pays Off…

Posted in celebrities, chocolate, love, relationship with tags , , , , , , , , , , on April 17, 2010 by jentonelli

So— in lieu of me being a miserable bitch the past week, I must confess it worked only to my advantage. Now ladies, I don’t suggest you try this at home unless you are confident that your bitchiness will work in your favor. Some girls haven’t mastered the art of being a bitch yet. I can only tell you that in my breakdown to mr. right the other night, I was then showered in grocery store gifts. You might be wondering what this means…. Here is a photo to better represent it:

Thesis Survival Kit?? Oriental Lilies, because lilies are my favv flower. The April issue of People Style Watch with JENNIFER ANISTON on the cover, because well if you haven’t figured it out already, I love her. A bag of Heath bars and a bag of Almond Joys because those are my two top chocolates and you should know by now how much I love Chocolateee!!!

Let me also mention that he is no lovey-dovey kinda guy. I was completely shocked to see his efforts to cheer me up in such a heart felt gesture….. Again, this was a huge risk on my behalf to be such a crazy bitch just because my life was falling apart in front of me…. but for some reason, he saw the better side of me and loved me still.

There is this great Marilyn Monroe quote

I’m selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle. But if you can’t handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don’t deserve me at my best.

I think this is important for us girls to remember. We aren’t perfect, but if we can find a guy who is willing to deal with those moments of absurd, ridiculous, unnecessary bitchiness…. and still love us, not only that but give us chocolate, jennifer aniston and a potted plant of lilies….. I think you should keep him around 🙂

I can’t give you all the answers, each fight is different… but try to keep your fight to one argument at a time. Don’t try to cover every single thing that bothers you–one warranted point should work just fine. Also, try to make your argument really strong. Believe it. Stick to it. If you do, he might start to as well. Finally, and I mean this seriously: Cry. Bawl your eyes out. Not just for him, but for you. Crying is necessary and what better time to do it then when you can get some sympathy and loving for it 😉

in love: confidence is key

Posted in family, friendship, love, relationship with tags , , , , , , on April 12, 2010 by jentonelli

Jealousy is an inherent aspect of our culture.


With the occasional bitch-fight with your best friend or mother, jealousy is most prominent in our relationships with our boyfriends/girlfriends. But why??

Think of the best relationships you have:

Likely with a parent, a best friend, a sibling, a coworker, even a pet, whoever….

Think of how you act toward that person:

Likely confident, secure, interested, mature, compassionate, positive and unconditional….

Think of your relationship with your partner:

Insecure, dramatic, negative, immature? If so, you might want to evaluate this relationship.

Why is it that we treat our significant other so differently than the other people we claim to love? Why do we constantly get jealous? Cause fights? And set standards that are extremely ridiculous just because they are our boyfriend or girlfriend? When in reality, we would not treat our closest friends or relatives in this manner. We know that our mother will love us unconditionally, even if we have a ton of siblings. We don’t accuse our best friend of cheating on us with their other friends. We aren’t likely to flip out on our coworkers for giving us constructive criticism. And we do not expect our sisters to text us back all day in a timely manner. We know these other people are capable of having lives and friends and still love us back. Why, though, do we often set our boyfriends or girlfriends up to fail? Why can’t we maintain that same confidence and security?

I believe it is one of the most important aspects of a relationship to feel secure, exude confidence and use our best judgment as often as possible. I believe this is the key ingredient to love. If you are successful in your friendships and your familyships, then you should introduce those same values into your relationships. The rules of love are the same for each relationship in your life. People want to be trusted, respected and treated as real people, not as property and not as people who owe you something, especially all of their time. Just as you expect your own space and freedoms, as well as trust, the person you date desires these things to. Give and you shall receive.

Day Two of Cleanse: Chips and Dip???

Posted in friendship, health, lifestyle with tags , , , , , , , , , , on March 30, 2010 by jentonelli

Well, our school was shut down due to the rain which was pretty sick, however, I received 4 texts simultaneously about snacks, movies and couching it. The four of us met at the grocery store and I swear I only bought two large Perrier Lime sparkling waters. I was going to just snack on something I already had at home, i.e. nuts, fruit, anything remotely healthy. Well, my dearest friends bought cape cod potato chips and a life-size bucket of french onion dip. After about 4 olives, I decided F this, I’ll have some chips, it’s vacation, let’s go wild. A few chips turned into a chip-induced coma, as my friends watched Benjamin Button, I passed out for the next 3 hours and woke up with a chip-dip hangover. Moral of the story: food really does alter my energy levels and my mood, but snacking and snuggling are two of my favorite things and I enjoyed every moment of it.


Now — a smoothie for dinner and trying to resist the temptation of beginning my vacation today. I must do homework since I have 7 days off… God, help me.

bad habits in love! yes girls, we have them too…

Posted in lifestyle, relationship, sex with tags , , , , , , , , , on March 16, 2010 by jentonelli

Flipping through the April 2010 issue of Glamour on my flight home from the Bahamas, I was shocked and pleased to find an article with such conviction. “What’s Destroying Your Love Life? Oh…Could it Be You?” is brilliant. The article points out how quick we are to blame men for our failing relationship, lifelong loneliness and constant agony, when in reality, ladies, we are just as flawed and the last people to admit it. Often, it is hard for a best friend to tell you what you are doing wrong in your relationship, for fear of hurting your feelings. It is hard to hear it from your man, because well, he’s hardly ever right. And forget about asking your mother, she’s either cut her losses long ago and just agrees with you all the time, or she criticizes you so often you don’t bother listening anymore. But, a magazine, that you trust and love, that you don’t feel personally judged by, like a secret pen pal, or wise old woman, is a great alternative for advice. A magazine can indirectly point out your flaws and mask it with the idea that thousands of girls are reading it, which keeps you from getting offended!

Listen to a few of these common mistakes that Glamour discusses and a ton of chicks are probably guilty of, but check out the issue for the full article:

1. Do you take the fun out of it? How often are you saying ‘no’ when your guy is trying new things? Choosing to stay in and make him stay in too, for fear of what could happen if you leave the comfort of the couch? Rolling over and falling asleep as soon as you hit the pillow? Think about how things were when you started dating. If there has been a significant change in your fun habits, reevaluate and loosen up.

2. Do you over-rely on technology? The magazine makes a great point in discussing the ways in which girls are constantly on facebook, their blackberries and texting. When you are with your guy, put down the laptop, silence your phone, make eye contact and work on the relationship that is in front of you rather than the one across the Internet. I’m sure you would expect that from him, right? Also, nix the bad habit of the lonely text, just because you went home alone tonight, or your friends are out on dates, or you’ve had one too many espresso martinis, that is no reason to text that old, dead-end, flame… he’ll still suck in the morning, and you’ll feel that old regret.

3. Do you pick unavailable guys? Unavailable is a multifaceted term. This doesn’t just apply to the man with a girlfriend, but also, the emotionally unavailable guy who is constantly blowing you off, or telling you he doesn’t want anything serious, even after years of sex, dates and family visits. A rule of thumb, you shouldn’t be coming up short in a relationship. If he is content and you are miserable, chances are you’re losing a lot more than you’re gaining.

4. Do you get off on drama? Ahh, so true, so true. The magazine highlights something key to a relationship: communication. But think of this, when was the last time your man threw a fit, cried, hung up on you, and screamed about four different things at once?? Hopefully, it wasn’t recently. The truth is, a downside to us women being so in tuned to our emotions, is that we often lose control of them just as quickly as we show them. Sometimes, it feels great to scream, because we feel powerful and passionate. We start fights just to get any attention at all, or just for the make up. We bring up things that are completely unrelated because we ran out of recent topics but still have enough fuel to last us till next weekend. Basically, this habit will only get you as far as that last scream and it is definitely one to learn to let go of. There are plenty of other ways you should find passion and power in your relationship!

let’s talk about needs, shall we?

Posted in relationship with tags , on February 6, 2010 by jentonelli

What can I say, I have needs. I need coffee each morning and I need a nap usually around 3 p.m. every day. I need chocolate after meals and I need to feel pretty when I go out. I could live without these things, but not happily, so therefore, I categorize them as needs. And while I could learn to live happily without them, deep down, I know I would miss them. Did I mention I need cheese? Because I do. And why give something up that I don’t want to and technically don’t have to? Of course there are people in the world living without, whether they choose to, or they have no choice. But my point is, just like daily cups of coffee, every person needs attention. Someone out there made us believe that this was wrong. Some guy called some girl needy and it stuck and now every girl who needs something is needy and every guy is suddenly this poor thing who can’t catch a break from his girl. Attention, let me tell you, is the most underrated thing in a relationship and any girl or guy who tries to say they don’t need attention is flat out lying. I’m not over generalizing, I am stating facts.

Why are girls so needy?

This is a common misconception men have about women…

Who the hell invented this term? And since when is needy the same as having needs? Do you need your laundry done? Do you need twenty minutes of self-indulgent silence after sex? Do you need baked goods and slutty lingerie? Well, I’m assuming you could live without all of those things, and I’m sure you don’t go around referring to yourself as needy. Of course not, because needy to you, is a girl who wants a phone call returned, followed by a nice gesture, charming compliment and possibly chocolate, and cheese while you’re at it. Guess what, it goes both ways… it always has and it always will. So, if what you need defines you, then I’m love and you’re a blow job.