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Has it really been 7 months since I graduated college? Am I really still unemployed? Yes and yes.
When I was little, the most challenging part about my future was deciding between becoming an actress or a lawyer. I wasn’t much for decisions so I landed on having a tv series about being a lawyer. Even years later in college it wasn’t so much the question of “will I get a job at a magazine” but more of “which magazine should I work for? Self? Glamour?” Life has never seemed impossible to me, it was never would James and I get together but Whennn? I have such belief in myself that only now am I realizing how difficult life can be. Was I spoiled? Was I living behind gold plated doors? Yes.. But even more so I just had this feeling that anything bad that could happen wouldn’t happen to me.
So after months of denial I have finally reached my acceptance phase and this blog is going to discuss the reasons why we deny things that are right in front of us- in love, fitness, food, family… Anything we have issues with. Here are a few things I can now say I have been in a complete naïve state of denial about…
1. Moving in with my boyfriend of 2 years will definitely fix any communication/emotional problems we have steadily had.
2. My highschool metabolism will last forever and I can eat anything I want.
3. If I work out for 3 weeks and stop for 3 weeks and continue this pattern, I’m in shape.
4. Facebook is a great networking tool, so if I read everyone’s status’ all day everyday… I’m technically actively searching for a job.
5. The people you first start being friends with in middle school are the best friends you’ll ever have.
Tomorrow… We’ll discuss how I got over these ideas…
Please click here: New York Times: I am Nujood, Age 10 and Divorced
I have been getting a lot of news lately just from visiting other people’s facebook pages. My friends, my co-workers and my family posts links, articles, videos, etc to their walls and I have made it a part of my day to find out something new. For someone who does not visit news sites every day, it is a great way for me to still get updated, and knowing that someone I am close to is recommending it makes it easier to inspire interest.
I hope you feel the same way, in my case, I have read this short article by Op-Ed journalist Nicholas Kristof, and am now hoping to gain readership through my blog friends. It will only take a minute and you might even be inspired to purchase the novel the article was written about:
Today marks a big day for me, (as well as my fellow senior friends and peers). It is not the beginning of anything, or the end of anything, but it is the middle of everything. I am graduating college in less than two months. Today I had a thesis meeting with my advisor and I made big leaps toward progress and the development of my senior thesis on women’s magazines, which I will be presenting the weekend of April 22nd. I also attended a career fair filled with potential employers and recruiters, and in a few hours I will sit amongst my English department and alum from my university at a career networking dinner held just for English majors….. Today, I realize, I am growing up.
As I frazzle around the town meeting with professors, printing out resumes, making copies, ordering graduation party invitations, meeting with the maintenance man since our door is broken, emailing teachers, searching for the perfect outfit, I can’t help but smile. Maybe it’s the weather that makes this day less stressful than it might be on a rainy day, but I am secretly pumped about this new chapter of my life.
I just wanted to send good luck out to all my classmates and friends as we embark on a crazy adventure and cross my fingers that we all get into the grad schools we want, get the jobs of our dreams, and make enough money to still pay our rent, expenses, loans and still the ability to travel and shop once in a while !
Have a good day and much love
Last night, after one of the longest days of my senior year, I was driving. It was pouring out, I was congested, sneezing, sniffling, coughing, best sleep I ever got with a cold kind of feeling, and I remember my iPod was charged. YES! iPods, what wonderful little inventions. Especially your own ipod. The one that has terrible songs in the mix of socially acceptable songs, that you’re semi embarrassed when other people hear. For me those songs are usually Bette Midler, “The Rose” and Something Corporate, “Konstantine” etc. You get the picture, we all have those songs that just bring us to this memory or this face we have forgotten. Sometimes I will hear a song and instantly think of a high school scene and it is like a mini movie of my life is playing and my iPod is the soundtrack. So on comes James Taylor “You’ve Got a Friend” and I’m back. I’m 18, I’m naive, I’m innocent. I’m sneaking out and sneaking back in to my house. I’m driving in a car with friends. I’m with Matt. Matt, my best friend from high school. He is handsome and sweet, funny and artistic. He plays the guitar and loves ping pong for some odd reason. He always wants to go to the movies with me. He makes fun of me for everything. Matt. He died in high school. My senior year. I was 18. He was 19. Where does time go? Where do people go? Every single time I hear a James Taylor song, Matt is in my front seat, suddenly. I have to listen to the song, all the way through. I have to. He needs to hear it too. He loved James Taylor. We often say we love our girl friend or our boyfriend. We say we love our mom and our dad. But I didn’t tell Matt I loved him. I was only 18. He was a boy. I couldn’t tell him I “loved” him, he would have thought I wanted to date him. He told me he loved me once, but I never told him. Love is powerful. Everytime I hear a song and Matt shows up in my front seat, I make sure I tell him. He must have known, but he is certain now.
“you can survive the day if you’re uncomfortable, but you can’t fall asleep if you’re uncomfortable”Posted in Uncategorized on February 24, 2010 by jentonelli
This quote was used today in my class. After reading “Four Loves” by C.S. Lewis, my insightful, offtrack, crazy, wonderful, time wasting professor said the first thing that made sense to me…. and today, I’m taking it a little lighter. This post is for old loves, first loves, distant loves and loves who lost their way…
He told the class, but I heard it as if it were directed at me,
After getting a divorce, the hardest thing the two partners notice, the thing they miss the most, happens at night: when they get into bed and realize the person who shared this bed with them, is no longer there. Those people are still confined to their one side of the bed, because they are so used to someone being on the other one. Night is the hardest, you can survive the day if you’re uncomfortable, but you can’t fall asleep if you’re uncomfortable.
Hopefully you cannot count the number of days that made you feel wonderful. I hope you have lost track. I hope these days are burned somewhere deep in your memory. Those days where the weather, the sounds, the food or the company make us feel hopeful. We feel we have made it through heartbreak, or loneliness or simply just missing that person we love. But then the night comes, and we slip into our pajamas. We brush our teeth, set our alarms and hop into bed. Fluff our pillows and get the covers arranged just right. And it hits us–something’s missing. Someone, rather. Sure eventually, hopefully, exhaustion will set in and we’ll fall asleep without them, but right now, for these few minutes we are anxious and lonely, tired but not tired enough to ignore the fact that no matter how perfect our day seemed, or how imperfect our loved one is, there is nothing, and I mean nothing like the feeling of sharing a pillow, stealing the covers, tangling your legs around theirs, saying ‘I love you’ and getting a kiss goodnight…
Welcome to the TRUTH about LOVE
I don’t have all the answers, but I have a lot of insight on relationships, not just my own but from my best friends, my siblings and my parents. I have been observant and interested in love all my life, so here it is, my take on that crazy little thing we call love….
It’s a little vulgar, a little raunchy, sometimes sweet but mostly raw—but hey, that’s love