Jealousy is an inherent aspect of our culture.
With the occasional bitch-fight with your best friend or mother, jealousy is most prominent in our relationships with our boyfriends/girlfriends. But why??
Think of the best relationships you have:
Likely with a parent, a best friend, a sibling, a coworker, even a pet, whoever….
Think of how you act toward that person:
Likely confident, secure, interested, mature, compassionate, positive and unconditional….
Think of your relationship with your partner:
Insecure, dramatic, negative, immature? If so, you might want to evaluate this relationship.
Why is it that we treat our significant other so differently than the other people we claim to love? Why do we constantly get jealous? Cause fights? And set standards that are extremely ridiculous just because they are our boyfriend or girlfriend? When in reality, we would not treat our closest friends or relatives in this manner. We know that our mother will love us unconditionally, even if we have a ton of siblings. We don’t accuse our best friend of cheating on us with their other friends. We aren’t likely to flip out on our coworkers for giving us constructive criticism. And we do not expect our sisters to text us back all day in a timely manner. We know these other people are capable of having lives and friends and still love us back. Why, though, do we often set our boyfriends or girlfriends up to fail? Why can’t we maintain that same confidence and security?
I believe it is one of the most important aspects of a relationship to feel secure, exude confidence and use our best judgment as often as possible. I believe this is the key ingredient to love. If you are successful in your friendships and your familyships, then you should introduce those same values into your relationships. The rules of love are the same for each relationship in your life. People want to be trusted, respected and treated as real people, not as property and not as people who owe you something, especially all of their time. Just as you expect your own space and freedoms, as well as trust, the person you date desires these things to. Give and you shall receive.