john mayer and the wrong way to win a girl’s heart…

Ladies and gentlemen, John Mayer has done it. He has said what every girl refuses to accept when they fall for a man.

1. Sometimes, f***ing a girl is more like being addicted to crack cocaine than actual love.

Girls, just because he keeps calling, answer yourself this, is he calling after midnight? is he sober? is he feeding you? There is a thin line between a relationship and a booty call, and that line my friend should not resemble crack cocaine.

2. Porn is inevitable.

Mayer said he  sees more than 300 vagina’s before he gets out of bed. Porn is not cheating. Porn does not mean he doesn’t find you sexy. But if comes to this point, you can tell him exactly where to put his television….. In his new place.

3. In his defense, he is just V-E-R-Y…. but if people can’t handle it, he comes off as a douche bag.

Men will forever do things to the extreme and describe themselves as extreme. If problems arise, they will  tell you that you cannot handle them. In other words, he hasn’t grown up, probably won’t any time soon, call him Very, call him a Douche bag…. either way he’s not fulfilling your needs.

4. Masturbation and Commitment Issues

Rather than meet somebody new, I would rather go home and replay the amazing experiences I’ve already had.

This speaks volumes about mankind: Forming connections before getting in the sack is much more work than the one-handed fall back….

5. Penis envy exists

My d-ck is sort of like a white supremacist. I’ve got a Benetton heart and a f-ckin’ David Duke c-ck. I’m going to start dating separately from my d-ck.

6. He thinks hes a good guy. He has good intentions. He might have taken you through the wringer psychologically, but he has never been sinister

If his intentions were good, the psychological wringer shouldn’t be a factor, now should it? You be the judge….but just because he deeply believes he is a “good guy” with “good intentions” like all things, these claims should have evidence…

7. Growing up has nothing to do with age.

In some ways I wish I could be with her. But I can’t change the fact that I need to be 32. Parts of me aren’t 32. My ability to go deep with somebody is old soul. My ability to commit and be faithful is old soul. But 32 just comes roaring out of me at points when I don’t see it coming. I want to dance. I want to get on an airplane and be like a ninja. I want to be an explorer. I want to be like The Bourne Identity. I don’t want to pet dogs in the kitchen.”

Since when is 32 so young? Whether they are “still in college”, “in their early 20s”, “late 20s”, “Only 30”, “Barely 40″… There will always be an excuse not to settle down for some men. Spot these guys early. You can try to change them, but you’re better off accepting this and rolling on….

8. Apologies that come too late.

And finally, I will say this about a man…..After all the things he does wrong, after all the wrong words that come out, the mistakes that he makes, even the ones he stands by at first…. If he meets opposition, resistance and causes tears… Apologies will follow. John Mayer’s interview came from his mouth, in a setting with a professional journalist, probably over an accumulated time period. He probably had a few days to think about what he said before it went to press. But no… he waited until he publicly humiliated two women, offended an entire race and gender to show any remorse…. That ladies and gentlemen is a true testament of a man’s mind…  He truly believes that “I’m Sorry” will fix everything.


2 Responses to “john mayer and the wrong way to win a girl’s heart…”

  1. Maybe I’m missing something, but what does “very” mean the way you use it in #3?

    I like your take-down of Mayer’s ridiculous statements, point-by-point. But, poor mankind to be lumped in with this travesty. There are good men out there, aren’t there?

    • jentonelli Says:

      John Mayer claims in the interview that he is often called a douche bag by tabloids, ex’s, etc. His response is that he is just a VERY person, he is Very this or Very that. If you can’t handle it then you MIGHT think he is a douchebag. And also, of course there are wonderful men out there. But for the ones who rely on John Mayer’s responses: This is how I feel on the issue.

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